On Relationship and Marriage

We have always known Sonam Kapoor as the ultimate fashion icon of bollywood. And she has lived up to that reputation by showing up at quite a few international fashion shows, of late. But when I read her first person account of her thoughts on relationship and marriage in a recent issue of iDiva, it was a very pleasant surprise to me to stumble upon another facet of Sonam Kapoor's balanced and mature personality. Here are some gems:

"To me singlehood is, if you are not married, or not in a really, really committed relationship. If you are just dating or seeing someone for a while, I feel, that's still being single. You are still by yourself, because being single is having your own life. And when you are in a relationship you essentially share your life, you pay for each other, you have a collective pool of money, you have a house together; that for me  is a relationship. But being single is being independent, having your own life, your own money, being able to make your own decisions, without anyone else influencing you. I think as time is progressing, I feel being single is also now coming with a sense of self-respect, especially for women. I actually feel lucky and privileged to be a single woman in this era, as opposed to my mom's time. Though we may look back and think 'but our moms had all these normal things happening to them, they were more secure' -- honestly, I think they had more insecurity then.

"I  think women then didn't think they could be by themselves. By the time they were 24, they were 'old ladies' and they couldn't get married. Which is ridiculous, it's like 'Oh my life is over because I can't get married!' I really don't think their times were about more security, but fundamental insecurity in who they were without a man or a marriage! And now, it doesn't matter. You marry out of free will. If I marry, it will be from a personal choice, not some social compulsion or norm. It may not work that way for women in small towns, but I think it's slowly getting there. It's definitely there in big metros.

"In this day and age, the first person you really need to love is yourself. You prioritize yourself and your work...all these come first. First, you need to be happy in a relationship. You shouldn't think five years down the line, that 'I did all this for you, I sacrificed all this'. I think that should never be the case. And I think there should be compromises on both sides. No relationship works without making an effort. That goes without saying. But you should never overcompensate".